Brack Toe

Last night I tried the most outlandish dish I’ve ever tried in my life – jellyfish. It didn’t have the chewy consistency I expected, but instead broke apart with each bite like a slimier version of…huh, you know, I don’t really know what to compare it to after ten minutes of sitting here trying to describe it. Suffice to say it was strange and I only ventured three pieces before settling in for the familiar textures and tastes of tofu and sweet and sour pork.

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I went to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up some corn-removal toe pads (my poor little left toe!) and found that the Chinese pads have some interesting uses, according to the Chinglish label on the back, including “deliquescing horniness” and “stopping tickle indications.” Good to know you can also use them on your grandfather at parties.

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Note: I don’t know the official level of PC-ness associated with the term “Chinglish,” but it’s how two of my Chinese friends have laughingly described what they’re speaking in response to my quizzical looks after certain words or phrases have had to be recovered from the mire of faulty translation.

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