I Don’t Know Where That’s Been

I passed two grown men peeing on the side of a building, in broad daylight, today on my walk to work. Technically they were obfuscated by shadow, but that didn’t make them any harder to miss. I can’t say that I see this happen often, but it’s not unexpected. Babies peeing on the sidewalk, I’ll call that common. My reaction to the men who do this is more like, “Oh, so you’re still up to your old tricks, eh?” It’s not an everyday occurrence and thus deserving of an unbelieving double take, but maybe only because I’m a prude. Thinking about what ends up on the bottom of your shoes after a day walking the streets in China is as egregious to your mental health as touching said soles and then eating is to the chemical balance of your stomach. Considering I’ve been sick with food poisoning twice in the last two weeks I’d like to stress that I do not eat with my feet, but as dozens of small children with the hygienic priorities of the average Amazonian monkey touch my hands every weekend, it would seem I may as well. And considering I’m still on the mend…I’m going to do myself a favor and think about something else – anything else. Who’s hungry?

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