I went to Basel’s big fancy contemporary art museum, the Kunstmuseum (Museum of Fine Arts) the other day. They had a Warhol exhibition going on (the early years). I walked through it, didn’t understand the big deal, got one of the headsets, and walked through again. I returned the headset maybe ten minutes later. “Did it work?” asked the attendant. “Yeah,” I smiled, “it was just really boring,” I didn’t say. Warhol…if you understand the fascination, you’ll have to explain it to me. I guess the big deal is that he was the first one to do all that crap he did that now eight-year-olds can do on their iPads. Anyway, I was perturbed the entire time because some tranny devil hooker masquerading as a security guard told me that my not-that-big messenger bag was just-too-big to be taken into the exhibition areas. So I coatchecked it and got upstairs and saw some woman with a giant hobo. ANGER. Sex discrimination. It was just like that one time I worked at Banana Republic and Kimberly got to wear shorts because her shorts were “bloomers” or some lame alternative hippie designer name for shorts and my shorts could only be shorts because they were for dudes. Oppression. I think I’m going to go make art about this. I also saw some Alberto Giacometti sculptures that brought to mind the sculptures Jerri’s classmates are all making in the episode of Strangers With Candy about anorexia. Good thing I have a such a firm grounding in modern art and can really appreciate all this crap.