What scares me is that some parent not only figured I might think their child had written this of her own accord, but that they might have thought it would be impressive to some extent (on a homework when asked to write about the weather in Spring and Autumn, copied verbatim):
“Spring are not always the same. In some years. April bursts upon Virginia hills in one prodigious leap – and all the stage is flled at filled. Whole choruses of tulips. arabesques of forsynia, cadenzas of flowering, plum. The trees grew leavws overnight.”
When asked to write the word underground four times on a homework:
“nuderground nudergound nudergoad nuderound.”
“China’s top cities the pubic longing for” – written about Qingdao in a business report I proofread meant to lure potential investors to the city.
“I use my ears to feel a dog” – on a homework assignment about the five senses.
“SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE WHITE” – ok, so this was actually on a Korean girl’s t-shirt, but I was in a taxi and couldn’t hop out to snap a picture…it’s sort of a quote though!
“Good job paying attention and pronunciating” – written by a teacher in a students’ notebook. Let’s talk about standards, shall we?
“bag bag bag. bag of class.” – so that’s Lindsay Lohan’s secret…from a homework assignment asking students to use their new vocabulary in a sentence.
“Stone age people do not know the meat can colloquial. However, because of son was dislike raw meat the meat method that eat colloquial know. So, there seems to be the today delicious meat.” – An answer on a homework…I don’t even know where to begin.
“Sometimes I see the sky” – on an assignment that asked students to use the word ‘sometimes’ in a sentence.
Q: What do you want to be?
A: I want to be a bike.
A: So I can ride.
“For richer people, they can even have more fun with their money than those poor people do” – part of a response to the question, “Does having more money make you happier?”
I’ll have what this kid’s having:
Q: What do you need to make a salad?
A: I need some butter fruit.
“I like shopping. I don’t like eating” -in answer to “How do your help your mother in the kitchen?”
“My heart is drenched in wine but you’ll be on my mind” -written on a student’s (knockoff) Hello Kitty bag.
“He can’t spack China” -in answer to the question, “Tell us about your teacher” on a homework.
“He can’t cook. He can eat sweets. He can teaching for us” -in answer to the same question, from a surprisingly astute student.
“You are fat” -from a little girl to one of the teachers.
“I go to school is wack” -in answer to the question, “How do you go to school?”
“No. I did not with your uncle” -honestly can’t remember what this was in answer to.
Q: What is your dog doing?
A: Is sausage.
“My family is mild” -in answer to “Describe your family.”